Overwhelmed

I know this will sound cheesy, but sometimes I am completely overwhelmed with love for my little boy. Its amazing...I can actually feel my heart swelling! I also have a new understanding of the way my own parents have acted throughout the years.
When I leave for work in the morning I peek my head in Aidan's room and whisper "Goodbye, Aidan, I love you!" After I did this the other morning, I suddenly realized that Nick's mom STILL does this! A few times they have stayed with us and have had to leave very early in the morning to catch a flight. Before they left I heard her whisper outside of our door "Goodbye, I love you!" I just happened to be awake to overhear this, and at the time thought it was cute, but very cheesy and sappy. But now I do it with my own son, and I know I will never stop. I will always tell him I love him, because there is no other love like the one a parent has for their children.
I also remember when my sister and I were about in 7th grade. My mom still wanted us to wait before we left for school for the day so she could give us a hug and say goodbye. At that age we thought this was the most painful, and somewhat embarrassing, part of the morning. Now I realize that finaly giving that up was probably much more painful for our mom than it was for us to endure it.
Aidan is lying in his playpen while I write this, and he is the most wonderful little thing in the entire world, as can be seen in the above picture.

Naptime

My second week at work is almost over! Wow...time really flies when you're working. Not while you're at work...but suddenly weeks and months have gone by with nothing to really differentiate them. That's a little sad. But I have Aidan to come home to, and he makes all the difference in the world. Every day he changes just a little bit, grows up a tiny bit more.
Aidan now says strings of silly words like "blah-blah-da-glah-blah". Its very cute! He can also anticipate when I'm about to tickle him and gets all excited. He giggles a lot more now, too. That is just amazing to hear...a baby laughing will brighten up anyone's day.
Oh boy! Nick is home with pizza. More later!

The first week

Its the end of my first week at work. Things went really well, and we're all adjusting to this new change in our lives. The hardest part of my day is morning. I get up with Aidan around 5:30 or 6 to nurse him. Then he goes back to sleep and I eat breakfast and get ready for work. For the past 5 months Aidan has always been with me while I prepared breakfast. I would talk to him, narrate how to make coffee, explain why I toasted my english muffins twice (I like them crispy), and just enjoy being with him. Making breakfast on Monday was the loneliest breakfast I've ever made. I kept thinking that I wouldn't be seeing Aidan again until evening. However, once I got to work, the day was fine. And that's how it was all week.
The commute home is also rough. I'm looking forward to getting home, but then I get stuck in rush hour traffic. I really, really hate rush hour traffic. Hopefully I can get into a routine at work of arriving early and therefore being able to leave a little early and miss the worst of rush hour. We'll see. On thursday there was an accident on the parkway (one of those giant steel coils fell off a truck) and it was blocking the right lane. Oh my god. It took me two hours to get home. I knew getting angry wouldn't help so I just cranked up the music and sang loudly to myself. I think I might get some books on tape to listen to during my commute. However, if driving continues to take forever and suck, I will seriously consider moving to an apartment closer to work. We've lived in our current apartment for 2 years, and we always said we weren't going to move again until we bought a house. I still feel that way, but this commute is starting to change my mind. I'm also starting to realize that our apartment is not a very baby-friendly place. Its going to be hard to baby-proof.
And on the homefront....Nick is the best stay-at-home-daddy ever (as can be seen in the picture above). He and Aidan are having a great time at home. They take walks, play, go to the grocery store, run errands, etc... And when Aidan's napping Nick cleans and makes dinner. And he's really enjoying himself! Wow! I am very lucky to have found such a guy. It almost makes me feel a little sad...its not that I wanted Aidan to feel bad when I left for work, but now it feels like he doesn't even needme! I know that's not true...but its tough to be a working mommy. I know that working is important...we need money to live and eat, but I'm no longer taking care of Aidan's every day needs all day. Its more of an abstract mothering...and I'm not quite used to it yet.

The flip side

Whew! Its been a busy two weeks. Aidan and I spent a week and a half in Erie visiting my family. My two sisters from Arizona were in town, and the one hadn't even met Aidan yet! It was a lot of fun!
While we were there I was also weaning Aidan to a bottle for his afternoon feedings. I'm starting work on M0nday, so he needed to get used to getting formula from a bottle. It also took a little bit of time for my body to get used to that. I'm going to try to keep nursing him early in the morning and in the evenings. I hope that works! It would be nice to still maintain that bond, plus the benefits of breastmilk, even in a small amount, would make it worth it.
However, I'm really nervous about starting work. Not only am I starting a new job, but I'm leaving my son! I know I'll still get to see him in the evenings and on the weekends, but its not the same! For the past 5 months I have seen Aidan for almost every minute of his waking hours. Now I'll be at work from 7 - 4....plus commuting time. I know the first couple of days...weeks...will be hard. At least Nick will be staying home with him...that will make it a little bit easier. I think I will have Nick and Aidan come and meet for lunch quite often at first. That will be fun!
But, the money I'll be making will also make our lives a lot easier. We will finally be able to start digging out of our debt hole, instead of digging it deeper! That will feel great!
In other big news, Aidan has now rolled from his back to his tummy. However, he's only done it once. And, of course, it was off a towel and onto the dirty concrete at the pool. The above picture is Aidan being upset that he's on his tummy, although he just rolled himself to that position. Silly baby!
Well, its my last night as a non-bacon-bringer-home. I'm going to sit around and drink some beer.

1st 4th

Aidan and I are in Erie for the entire week! My sister Julie is in town from Arizona with her daughter. My other sister will be in town tommorow with her boyfriend. I haven't met this guy yet, so he hasn't gotten the essential "twin seal of approval"! :)
Today was Aidan's first fourth of July. He's already in bed, so he won't get to see fireworks, but I think that is probably good. I'm not sure he'd be able to appreciate them. We did go to the fourth of July parade in Erie this morning. He slept through most of it, including the very loud fire engine sirens.
Then we spent the rest of the day socializing. We met up with my good friends from high school, Amand and Jen. Then we went to Jen's parents house, then to Burger King to meet up with another friend, her husband, and her two boys. It was a great time!! We spent the rest of the day at my sisters, where we had a nice cookout and I played catch with my nephew. Lots of fun!
This is all I have to say for now.